Dear Lucille, My husband is obsessed with his cell phone. He’s so addicted to it that he checks his messages even while we’re having sex!–propping his phone up on a pillow next to us. We had a huge blowout about it. It’s beyond rude–but he says he has to stay ‘on top’ of things. I’ve had enough Lucille. What can I do? Heather, Bottomed Out In Cleveland
Wow, your husband won’t let go of his bone! It’s his favorite toy.
When my Dad is texting, first I just stare at him with my tongue hanging out. Take a look: IMG_4329
Then I run and get a sock for a game of tug of war. Or I just sit still and look pretty until he notices. And if he still ignores me, I start barking and never stop until he pays attention.Maybe you should try it.
Cell phones are the pits—for dogs too. Last night, when I was out taking a walk, somebody (staring down at their phone) stepped on my paw. Ouch!
My Dad says: Compulsive texters are virtual sleepwalkers. They move in a trance, consumed by that little box. It’s an addiction that gobbles up 8-10 hours a day.
Heather, you have it bad in bed, but out there in the park, it isn’t so great either. Phone junkies don’t see or hear anything happening around them. They’re not actually IN the park–they’re just AT the park, never ‘in the moment’ like we dogs are. Why not? Because they find the sunshine, plants, flowers, dogs like me–and all the people around them much less interesting than Facebook, Twitter, E-mails, and Amazon.
Even if their own dog (or daughter) is dancing, they just ignore or, or miss it! And when people text and drive, or talk and drive, it’s even worse, with their heads are up their you know whats. Accidents happen.
My nose is always to the ground, my eyes and ears on alert. Dogs don’t need phones—and people don’t need ‘em as much they think they do.
But texters walk right into you, and if they’re unlucky, maybe into a bus or a car.
In your case, Heather, enough is enough. If your husband won’t put that phone away, even when you’re rubbing his tummy, then you have to teach him a lesson:
Bite on his bone! Take away his water.Forget his laundry.Mix up his socks. Lose a golf club.Hide his phone charger.
And if nothing else works, kick him to the curb. Either he loses his phone or he loses you.