i am sitting here writing this with my beautiful dog Betsy sitting beside me. And I am in tears, because Betsy is a buff cocker, and I love her so much. AND, I have lost 8 dogs in my adult life. I grew up with dogs and always had a soft spot for them. In my childhood I slept with 7 or 8 stuffed animals. And when I moved into my own place after college I adopted my first dog shortly thereafter.
The loss of each of my 8 dogs was heartbreaking, and each loss and subsequent “recovery” was different. Albert and Vickie died at relatively old ages. I knew it was coming. It still broke my heart but I had begun to accept that it would happen. When my first occker, a stray rescued off the street, died at 9, I was inconsolable. He died of AIHA and went from seemingly OK to passing away in just 3 days. I lost weight. I cried every day for weeks. But I still had Stacy, another dog I’d adopted, at home to help me through. I adopted other rescue dogs and lost them to kidney failure and cancer…and again, each was different. But losing my Shelby in August of this past year was the hardest ever.
In past cases, I usually tried to find a nice dog shortly afterward, and always succeeded. Some dogs I was “in love” with immediately, and others I GREW to love, but I always loved each and every one. Shelby died after fighting cancer for a year and she had been doing so well. then everything started to fall apart and after two devastatingly difficult days in the hospital she just couldn’t hang on. I rushed there to be with her and she left this earth as I held her, on the table, while she was wearing an oxygen mask. I was so distressed I missed two days of work…I carried a stuffed blonde cocker toy around, laid down by her water bowl, stayed in my pjs, and wept steadily for 2 weeks. having been through the grieving process before I knew I would eventually feel better but this one was hitting me harder than most…the worst loss since Georgie died of AIHA.
Although I had my two parti cocker whom I love with all my heart I knew at some point I would want another little buff girl. I knew that I would know when the time was right. ABout two months after she died I started just THINKING about it, and out of nowhere came a call from a friend saying there was a dog available I might like.
I have had cockers for years. When I lost a parti, I got another parti. When I lost a buff, I got a buff. But I never felt like I was replacing a dog. You can’t. They are all as individual as people. But I learned that you CAN love again, and you can love just as much, and as deeply, and feel as much joy. Betsy is a heart healer. I adore her. And yet there are days I cry for Shelby. It’s like losing your mom whom I’ve also lost..you get past the worst of it but it never really goes away. You just compartmentalize it a bit. I like the saying that when you get another dog, you don’t replace the one that lost..it just opens your heart a bit more and if you have loved many dogs you have a very big heart.
A friend recommended your book, but honestly I could not read it because I knew the dog died and I just go to pieces reading about people losing their pets, especially cockers as they are my heart dog. Kind of silly maybe, but that’s just me.
To those who have lost pets, I would just say that even though the grief can seem insurmountable, you can and will feel better, and the next love can and will be wonderful, just different. And I would finally say that I apologize for any typos. it is late and my computer keyboard is terrible.
To all the dog lovers out there, and to those who are grieving, I would say do what you need to do. Cry, grieve hard, let it out. Find a group if you need to…I volunteer at one at a shelter to help people who have lost pets. Honor the one you lost but know that when you have love in your heart, it has to go somewhere..and why not to another deserving soul that will pay you back in love ten times over?
How Can We Recover From The Death Of Our Dog?
February 6th, 2015 at 1:35 ami am sitting here writing this with my beautiful dog Betsy sitting beside me. And I am in tears, because Betsy is a buff cocker, and I love her so much. AND, I have lost 8 dogs in my adult life. I grew up with dogs and always had a soft spot for them. In my childhood I slept with 7 or 8 stuffed animals. And when I moved into my own place after college I adopted my first dog shortly thereafter.
The loss of each of my 8 dogs was heartbreaking, and each loss and subsequent “recovery” was different. Albert and Vickie died at relatively old ages. I knew it was coming. It still broke my heart but I had begun to accept that it would happen. When my first occker, a stray rescued off the street, died at 9, I was inconsolable. He died of AIHA and went from seemingly OK to passing away in just 3 days. I lost weight. I cried every day for weeks. But I still had Stacy, another dog I’d adopted, at home to help me through. I adopted other rescue dogs and lost them to kidney failure and cancer…and again, each was different. But losing my Shelby in August of this past year was the hardest ever.
In past cases, I usually tried to find a nice dog shortly afterward, and always succeeded. Some dogs I was “in love” with immediately, and others I GREW to love, but I always loved each and every one. Shelby died after fighting cancer for a year and she had been doing so well. then everything started to fall apart and after two devastatingly difficult days in the hospital she just couldn’t hang on. I rushed there to be with her and she left this earth as I held her, on the table, while she was wearing an oxygen mask. I was so distressed I missed two days of work…I carried a stuffed blonde cocker toy around, laid down by her water bowl, stayed in my pjs, and wept steadily for 2 weeks. having been through the grieving process before I knew I would eventually feel better but this one was hitting me harder than most…the worst loss since Georgie died of AIHA.
Although I had my two parti cocker whom I love with all my heart I knew at some point I would want another little buff girl. I knew that I would know when the time was right. ABout two months after she died I started just THINKING about it, and out of nowhere came a call from a friend saying there was a dog available I might like.
I have had cockers for years. When I lost a parti, I got another parti. When I lost a buff, I got a buff. But I never felt like I was replacing a dog. You can’t. They are all as individual as people. But I learned that you CAN love again, and you can love just as much, and as deeply, and feel as much joy. Betsy is a heart healer. I adore her. And yet there are days I cry for Shelby. It’s like losing your mom whom I’ve also lost..you get past the worst of it but it never really goes away. You just compartmentalize it a bit. I like the saying that when you get another dog, you don’t replace the one that lost..it just opens your heart a bit more and if you have loved many dogs you have a very big heart.
A friend recommended your book, but honestly I could not read it because I knew the dog died and I just go to pieces reading about people losing their pets, especially cockers as they are my heart dog. Kind of silly maybe, but that’s just me.
To those who have lost pets, I would just say that even though the grief can seem insurmountable, you can and will feel better, and the next love can and will be wonderful, just different. And I would finally say that I apologize for any typos. it is late and my computer keyboard is terrible.
To all the dog lovers out there, and to those who are grieving, I would say do what you need to do. Cry, grieve hard, let it out. Find a group if you need to…I volunteer at one at a shelter to help people who have lost pets. Honor the one you lost but know that when you have love in your heart, it has to go somewhere..and why not to another deserving soul that will pay you back in love ten times over?